You To Me Are Everything
by chocolatemud14
Summary: Peyton and Lucas hid out during the school shooting, and they realized their true feelings for each other. What if Peyton and Lucas were together by the time they took the trip to Rachel's cabin in episode 3x18? Major LP, hints of residue BL. No love triangles, though. **UNABLE TO COMPLETE**
1. Chapter 1

**So, I've been working on this for a little while. It was originally going to be a one-shot, but I think honestly the reason I've been struggling so much is because this doesn't work as a one-shot. That being said, I think this is going to be a short multi-chapter story. Please let me know what you think of this beginning. I could really use the feedback.  
**

 **You To Me Are Everything**

Lucas slung his duffle bag over his shoulder, and headed across to the door of his mother's bedroom. "So Ma, I'm gonna take off, OK?" His announcement was met with silence. Lucas shared a glance with Peyton, who stood by the door. She leaned heavily on the crutches given to her since she was shot in the leg inside the school. Thankfully, the doctor told her after some extensive physical therapy, she would be alright.

Peyton sent Lucas a sympathetic glance. Karen had been completely non-communicative after Keith's sudden death. She wasn't eating, sleeping, or bathing. Lucas didn't want to leave her side; in fact it was Peyton, Skills, Nathan, and Haley who convinced Lucas to go on the trip to Rachel's family cabin. She had invited the whole lot, including Brooke, to go to heal, and maybe even find a few answers along the way.

"Hello?" Lucas asked, knocked on the door. Unbeknownst to him or Peyton, Karen was leaning against the door on the other side, clutching a photograph of Lucas and Keith when Lucas was about seven years old. The look in her eyes was an unforgettable one. "...I'll be on my cell if you need anything, Mom," Lucas said. He turned to Peyton putting a hand on his arm. "She just seems so hopeless."

"She's been through a lot," Peyton said, her voice soft and gentle. "You just need to give her some time, Luke."

He nodded, and he walked to match her pace as they left the house, until he stopped when a thought entered his mind. "Hey," he said, and she turned to him. "Brooke's gonna be there. Are you gonna be OK?"

"I'll be fine," Peyton assured him, as she took his hand. "Are _you_ gonna be alright?"

"As long as you're with me," he said, his reply as honest and sincere as they come. She could tell by his voice, and by the blue in his eyes. He leaned in to kiss her, partly because he knew he wouldn't have much chances to do so this weekend, considering their company.

Peyton ran a hand down his cheek, and she motioned for him to follow her out of the house.

Haley, Nathan, Skills, and Mouth were already waiting for them outside by the cars. Brooke, Rachel and Bevin would ride in another car from Rachel's place to avoid any discomfort or awkwardness or tension of any kind.

"So, does anybody know anything about this place we're going to?" Haley asked, as she sipped on a coffee.

"All Rachel said was that it was some kind of cabin," Peyton replied, as she put her bag in the trunk of Nathan's car. She saw Skills' humongous suitcase and she asked, "Skills, you know we're only gonna stay for two nights, right?"

"Still, if we're gonna be staying in the middle of the woods, I need all my stuff: CD, Mp3, my pillow. You never know how rustic we talkin'."

-x-x-x-xx-x-

As they pulled up to Rachel's massive and luxurious cabin, Lucas could feel Peyton's heart racing. "Hey," he said, once the rest of the gang went up the stairs and through the front door. He put a hand on her back. "It's going to be OK, baby. She won't create drama for everyone." Lucas winked at her, and took her hand. Together, they went inside the house.

Everyone, including Brooke, congregated in the living room. Peyton admired the beautiful rustic feel of the cabin. "Rachel, this place is awesome," she said. She could feel Brooke glaring at her from across the space.

"It's been in my family for years. We hardly come here anymore; my dad mostly just loans it out to clients." Rachel addressed everyone, "The kitchen's fully loaded, theres a river for fishing, ATV's in the garage, plasma screens upstairs, and a hot tub in the back. There's five bedrooms, take any one but the master."

"Let's check them out," Bevin chirped, and she grabbed Skills hand. They all dispersed upstairs, including Peyton and Lucas.

Rachel breathed out in satisfaction, and then turned to Brooke. "How're you doing, crazy?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. " _How am I doing?_ My recently declared ex-boyfriend shows up here parading around his _new_ girlfriend. Oh, and she used to be my _best friend!"_

"She can still be your best friend, Brooke," Rachel said, as she sat down on the couch.

Brooke scoffed. "Um, what drugs are you on, Rach? She kisses Lucas at the school, _again._ They cheat on me behind my back. _Again._ He realizes out of the blue that he loves her?! And you want me to be her friend–are you fucking kidding me?"

Rachel held up her hands. "Alright, so they kissed. She thought she was gonna die. I don't know any more than you about what else went on between them in that library, but don't you think...don't you think maybe they just realized that life is too short?"

Brooke leaned forward. "Rachel. _He was still dating me!"_ the tone in her voice bore no further argument. "I can't believe you're taking her side!"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are!" Brooke yelled. She shook her head. "I can't believe this, why the fuck did I even come here," she muttered to herself, and got up from the couch.

"Brooke, where are you going?" Rachel asked, her tone even and calm. "I'm your ride home."

Brooke rolled her eyes. " _Fuck_ me."

Rachel smirked. "No thanks. Better hurry up and pick a room; the good ones are going fast."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas and Peyton entered an empty bedroom and shut the door behind them. "See, we were in the same room as her for about five minutes, and it wasn't so bad."

Peyton stared at him. "She won't even look at me. And when she does it's a death glare." She sat down and felt the springs on the bed. She took a breath, but like always, felt like she could confide in Lucas. "...I think the hardest part about this is how I lost my best friend."

Lucas stopped admiring the room and turned to her. He dropped his bag to the floor, sat next to her on the bed. He lifted her legs onto his lap, took off her Converse shoes. "I wish there was something I could do or say to make that part better for you, Peyton….and in a way I'm responsible for it..."

"It's just as much my fault as you think it is yours," Peyton reasoned. "I don't want you to take all the blame for this, Luke." She blew out a breath and said, rather unconvincingly, "I'll be fine." She watched as he took off her socks and began massaging her feet, going so far as pulling up her pant leg and gently rubbing over her injury.

"I know it's not the same, but...I'm here."

Peyton looked at him and felt like crying. Rather, she pulled him close and kissed him. His tongue crept into her mouth, as he crawled closer to her on the bed and together they lay down. Soon their hands were roaming, hers through his hair and his up her flat stomach. "How's your leg?" he breathed, once they pulled apart. Her legs had curled around his own.

"It's OK," she replied. "Burns a little."

"Later I can give you a massage if you want," he whispered, nuzzled his nose with hers.

She nodded, kissed his hand.

A knock sounded on the door, and then it opened. "Oh, sorry," Nathan said, his cheeks coloring. "Dude, do you wanna check out the ATVs?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

As they whizzed down the dirt desolate roads surrounding the cabin, Nathan stopped his ATV, took off his helmet with a laugh and faced his brother.

"Nice jump back there." Lucas removed his helmet.

"You too! I think we both scared the hell outta some cows, man," Nathan chuckled.

"You know, maybe we better be careful, given our family driving history one of us is bound to end up in the hospital."

Nathan chuckled and watched his older brother do the same. It was nice to see him at least sort of laughing again. "So," he began. "You and Peyton, huh?"

Lucas inhaled. "Yeah," he said. "...I know everyone probably thinks it's insane and weird."

Nathan shrugged. "I don't. You guys have always had a thing for each other. Look...whatever anyone says to you...don't listen to them. If Peyton's the girl you love, go for it, Luke. I got your back, always."

"Thanks."

"If there's anything I've learned from what happened, it's that life is too goddamn short." He cleared his throat and reached into his front jeans pocket. "Which is why I swiped this from Haley."

"Her ring?" Lucas asked, taking it into his hand from that of Nathan.

"Mhm. I'm going to need you to hold onto that for me."

"...Why?"

Nathan smirked in that signature way of his. "Because I'm gonna ask her to marry me."

Lucas squinted. "OK, I'm sorry–but didn't you already do that?"

"Yeah, but..." Nathan inhaled. "I was thinking about Keith and your mom and how...they never got a chance to stand in front of their family and friends and tell everybody how they feel, ya know?"

Lucas nodded, and hurt constricted his chest. "Yeah."

"Haley and I never got to do that, either...and, now that we're back together...I wanna do things the right way."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas walked into the kitchen of the cabin to find Peyton just getting off a call on her cell. "...Why is Haley going through a nasty assortment of drain hair?"

Peyton chuckled, as Lucas was referring to how his best friend was frantically searching for the wedding ring that she had...misplaced. "She can't find her wedding ring," Peyton hissed, just in case Nathan was in earshot.

Lucas reached into his front pocket, after he looked over his shoulder to ensure there was nobody around. "...You mean this wedding ring?"

Peyton's eyes widened. "Where did you get that?!"

"Nathan gave it to me; he's going to propose to Haley again."

"That's so sweet," Peyton said.

"Yeah...he told me that he realized that life was too short–like I did," he said, quietly. Lucas stared at her, a stare so intense it made her lose her breath and go weak in the knees. Upon hearing Haley's voice, Lucas quickly shoved his the ring into his pocket.

"Did you find it?" Peyton asked, as Lucas put an arm around her waist.

"No!" Haley huffed. "Nathan is going to freak out."

"Haley, we'll find the ring," Peyton assured her, when Rachel walked into the room. "The guys from Sunkist called, they're hosting this club night not too far from here, so I thought we could all go?"

"Wait...what about my ring?"

"Haley, we will find your ring! In the meantime, just hide that finger."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The club night sponsored by Sunkist was crowded with a line to get in wrapped around the block. The gang got in easily with Peyton and her connections alongside them. Brooke stayed with Rachel, whilst Skills and Bevin took shots and Nathan grabbed two sodas for him and Haley.

"Why're you wearing those mittens? It's like a million degrees in here." Nathan smirked to himself; his plan was working!

"...My hands are just cold today," Haley replied, as she clapped her hands together.

At the next table, Lucas put his hand on Peyton's back. "You OK?"

"I'm fine," she replied, leaned into his touch. "Are you OK?"

A bumping hit took over the club, and Lucas took Peyton's hand in his. She read his mind and began shaking her head in protest, but he dragged her out to the dance floor anyway. Shortly after Skills, Bevin, Nathan, and Haley joined the pair.

Rachel sidled up to Brooke as she was forced to watch Lucas and Peyton dancing. She took a breath, as though she was inwardly cringing when she said, "I won't ask you how you're doing this time."

Brooke rolled her eyes. As she watched her ex and her ex best friend her heart was breaking all over again. "I need some air," she said, and made her way out of the club.

Mouth made his way over to Peyton and Lucas on the dance floor. Since he wasn't talking to Rachel at the moment, and since Brooke was making her way to the nearest exit, he had no choice but to announce, "Some guy named Rudy keeps asking me to dance; if you could help me out that would be great."

Peyton started laughing, and her and Mouth began dancing together. Lucas turned and watched as Brooke left the club, and made his way after her–all the while Peyton and Mouth continued to dance, unaware of his absence.

"Brooke!" Lucas called, once they left the club. The music and throbbing of the crowds died down, and all they were left with was the chatter of passerby and the occasional car horn.

Brooke turned, her arms wrapped around herself as she felt the unexpected breeze. "What?"

Lucas stood there, and the awkwardness of the moment hit him then. "Are you alright?"

Brooke scoffed, shook her head. "You have _got_ to be fucking joking. You ask me if I'm alright? Are you for real?"

Lucas swallowed and said nothing at first. "I just..."

"I can't believe you. First you cheat on me; then you break up with me–fine–but then you parade _her_ around in my face? After _everything?_ How could you do that?"

"Brooke, I don't mean to–"

"OK, but you are! Do you have idea how much it hurts to see the two of you together? Again?" Brooke shook her head again as tears filled her eyes. "That was supposed to be you and me, Lucas."

Lucas sighed, ran a hand over his face in lieu of words. "I–"

"No, I _loved you_!" she shouted, her cry piercing the night. "I _loved you,_ I poured my heart out to you, I trusted you! How could you do that to me? How could you do that to _us?"_ She stared at him, confronted him with the very reality that so often crushed her, and one that broke her heart more and more every day.

"Brooke, I'm _sorry."_ Lucas shrugged in almost a hopeless kind of way, and took a deep breath. "You need to understand the circumstances this time. Peyton and I were in the library, and she was dying. Blood was pouring out of her leg, and when she kissed me–"

"Yeah, right, and you let her! You let her because you had feelings for her still. Just admit it."

Rather than do as she asked, Lucas said, "I never meant to hurt you."

Brooke began muttering _why did I come_ to herself. "Well you did. You did, badly. Then you throw it in my face and expect me to be _OK?!_ What!?"

"I don't know what to say," Lucas said eventually. He stared at her with those sad eyes. "But I never expected you to be alright because of this."

Brooke turned and headed away from the club, leaving Lucas alone.

-x-

 _She sat in the deserted school library, bleeding from her leg, the fluid soaking the_ _library's_ _ugly blue carpet. She grew more and more tir_ _ed, and more and more cold. She turned to see Lucas, the boy who was there at her hour of need, who was always there. He looked at her, those soulful blue eyes making_ _the guard that shielded her_ _weaker and weaker. The silence was harrowing, so she filled it with words._

 _"_ _It's not glass, is it? In my leg."_

 _Lucas took a breath. "No. It's a bullet. Now I may have to get you outta here, ok? But nothing will happen to you. I promise."_

 _"….You're always saving me." The pain in her leg was mind numbing, she honestly wasn't sure if she was going to make it out of this godforsaken library alive, and Lucas was there. So close she could smell the residue of his cologne, see the way his hand rested on her leg._

 _His lips parted and he said, "Somebody's got to."_

 _Inside of her something lifted, and it was like she could finally breathe. "If I say...If I say 'I love you' right now, will you hold it against me? 'Cause I've lost a lot of blood." He smirked at her, but it was like his heart was breaking at the same time. "Come here," she whispered. Slowly, he leaned in around the same time she did, pla_ _ced_ _a chaste kiss on his lips. "Just in case you can't keep your promise...and...we don't make it outta here...I love you, Luke."_

-x-

That night, Lucas was staring out the window, thinking of everything Brooke had said. Peyton came up from behind him and put a hand on his arm. "Hey, you OK?"

Lucas turned to her and put his hand over hers. "...Brooke and I talked."

"Yeah?"

"She said I was shoving you in her face. I don't mean to parade you around, babe… I just want to be with you."

"I know," Peyton replied, moved into his arms for a hug.

Lucas moved to sit on the bed. "I know the timing sucks, it's just...is this selfish of us?"

"...I ask myself the same thing," she admitted, but she held onto Lucas tightly. "But, Luke, it _doesn't_ mean I have doubts about being with you. I don't. We're only human, and we both didn't intend to hurt Brooke. Right?"

"Yeah." he turned to her and lightly bumped their foreheads. "I don't have doubts about being with you, either."

Peyton kissed his forehead. "How about you try getting back to bed?"

Lucas nodded, and got under the covers with Peyton by his side. He opened his arms and she crawled into them, kissing her nose. "I was thinking about how beautiful it is here...it's weird, but sometimes I feel like Keith is here with me."

"He is," Peyton whispered. She nestled closer to him, and they fell asleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Brooke lay in a bunk bed underneath Mouth's bunk, and she was feeling like the darkness surrounding them was going to just swallow her up.

"What're you thinking about?" Mouth asked.

"Truthfully? How many times I can be betrayed."

Mouth swallowed, followed the sound of Brooke's voice because he couldn't see her. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No," Brooke said. "No."

"For what it's worth, any guy would be so lucky to have you, Brooke."

"Thanks, Mouth," she said, a smile tugging at her lips. She shut her eyes, that thought in her mind as she drifted off to sleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The last day there, it was pouring rain, which pounded the ground below. Lucas and Peyton spent it laying in bed. Their lovemaking was done in secret, with Peyton half paranoid that somebody would hear them–on the other hand, Lucas loved the excitement. He lived for these stolen moments with her, where he could hold her in his arms, worship every inch of her beautiful body; muffle the sounds of her sensual moans with his kisses.

"Is your leg OK?" They both heard the echoes of their friends laughing over some outdated board game they found in one of the closets.

"A little sore," Peyton admitted, as she ran her hand over Lucas' chest, which was slick with sweat.

Lucas moved his hand up and down her injured leg, being as gentle as he could. "Want me to massage it?"

She nodded, staring at him intensely and shutting her eyes to the feel of his touch and of the rain outside.

 _-x-_

 _Peyton was sitting on her front porch, her leg propped up and elevated on a pillow, with her father Larry Sawyer checking up on her literally every ten minutes. She was merely watching the heavy rainfall, closing her eyes to the romantic sound of raindrops hitting the roof and windows. She was thankful to be able to hear those sounds….over the past couple days since the shooting, nothing seemed certain anymore–and perhaps that was always true–but this truth only intensified. Since the passing of Jimmy Edwards, of Keith...Peyton knew there were only two certainties in life: one of them being death, and the other…_ _the other being love._

 _"Peyton?"_

 _Her eyes snapped open to see Lucas, getting soaked by the rain as he stood on her porch steps in his gray Keith Scott Body Shop hoodie and black sweatpants with Timberlands. He wore that the night they first_ _made eye contact, the same night Peyton almost ran him over. "…Hey," she said, sitting up straight. "What're you doing here?"_

 _He shrugged in a boyish way. "I needed to see you."_

 _Peyton made a come forward gesture with her hand. "Get outta the rain! You're soaked."_

 _Lucas gratefully climbed the steps and sat across from her, in the chair next to the one that propped up her injured leg._

 _"Let me get you a towel–"_

 _"What? Don't get up." Peyton moved to do just that, and Lucas held out his hands in a protective manner. "Peyton, no, don't. Seriously. I'm just a little wet, don't worry about it." He wiped his face with the back of his hand. "I wanted...I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the library that day."_

 _Peyton sighed. "_ _Lucas, we don't have to do this."_

 _"Yes, yes we do, Peyton," he said, ever so serious. His blue eyes were deep and beautiful. "You told me you loved me."_

 _"Luke," Peyton wailed. "My leg was bleeding, OK? It wasn't exactly a romantic moment."_

 _"_ _So, what're you saying, that you didn't mean it?"_

 _Peyton swallowed, her heart beginning to pound in her chest and her stomach beginning to twist into knots. "I didn't say that," she whispered._

 _"So you did, then."_

 _"Why are you doing this?" she asked, her eyes turning cold._

 _"Because, Peyton!_ _Maybe it wasn't a romantic moment...but you wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it–" he took a deep breath. "All I'm saying is...it's OK if you did." He flinched at his own words, almost to say, way to go, you moron._

 _"No it's not!" Peyton shouted. "Lucas, you're dating my best friend–"_

 _"I broke up with her," Lucas said, speaking over Peyton. "I ended it."_

 _"When?" Peyton whispered, the wind getting knocked out of her._

 _"Last night. I told her everything. I'm sick–I'm sick of lying to everyone, including myself. When I meant–when I told you it was OK that you told me you loved me, I meant because….I meant because I love you, too." Peyton's mouth gaped open, and she watched as Lucas got up and knelt in front of her. "I love you."_

 _"No you don't," Peyton said, the first words that popped into her mind. "You don't love me."_

 _Lucas laughed a bit. "Yes I do. You don't believe me?"_

 _She suddenly wanted so badly for him to take her hand, feel the warmth of his skin. "I… you love me?" she repeated needlessly._

 _"Of course I do." he shrugged. "I'm so in love with you. I always have been." He shyly reached to intwine their hands. She didn't pull away._

 _"Luke..."_

 _"You don't have to be afraid, Peyton. It's going to be alright. I promise."_

 _"What brought this on?" she breathed, though she knew he so badly just wanted to hear that she was also very much in love with him._

 _Lucas let out a breath. "When I was in that library, hearing you say all those things in that moment...I couldn't deny what was most important. Life is short. I want to give us a shot. We never really had a chance because people stood in our way all the fucking time. I've always been in love with you, baby, and that's the truth. I don't know how else to express it to you." He looked at her for a minute. "Come on, tell me what you're thinking, at least."_

 _"I…" Peyton sighed. "Lucas… what about Brooke?"_

 _"She never made me feel the way that you do," Lucas answered, simply. "It wasn't right, and I think both of us knew that." Lucas leaned down and kissed her hand. "I know Brooke's your best friend, Peyton and the last thing I want to do is come between y'all...but I have to be with you."_

 _His words brought Peyton back to that library in Junior year, when Haley caught them kissing. The chance they never had was now returning to them. As scared as Peyton was, she couldn't deny that this was what she wanted, and for so long. She just pushed it down and away for the sake of others. No more._

 _"Come here." He edged closer to her, pushing up on his haunches. She cradled his face, and a few tears fell down her own. "...I'm in love with you, too."_

 _A look of relief filled his eyes. "Do you want to be with me?"_

 _Peyton let out a sob, and Lucas responded by holding her tightly. She nodded, wiping harshly at her face. "For real."_

 _"For real," he repeated, nodding gently. "Of course."_

 _All she could see in that moment, was him. When they kissed, all she could feel was his soft lips pressed up on hers, his hand on her waist. She paid no mind to her father's intrusion, the awkward clearing of his throat._

 _"I guess you're feeling alright," he said, and then abruptly shut the front door, leaving the two of them to make out on the front porch, the rain cascading around them._

 _-x-_

"Luke?" Peyton craned her neck to look at him.

"Hm?"

"I love you," she said.

Lucas stopped his actions to look her way. "I love you too, baby." He hovered over her and nuzzled their noses together. "So much."

As the rain continued to fall, they made love again. They created a cocoon that wrapped around them both, and they remained for once untouchable.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 **There's the start. Hit that review button, please and thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the feedback, everyone! I know this one took a while to churn out, but I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know what you think!**

 _Chapter Two_

Everyone had returned to Tree Hill, and tonight was the first Ravens basketball game since Keith's death. Lucas stood in the locker room of that crappy gym, which smelt musky and like dust, and he held the black jersey with Keith's initials on a patch that was sewn onto the jersey. The weight that carried him held him down like an anchor, and he only turned away when he heard his younger brother's familiar footsteps.

"Black jerseys," he said. "For Keith." Nathan moved closer and patted Lucas on the shoulder. "First game back. You ready for this?"

"I think so," Lucas got out, and his voice sounded unfamiliar even to him. "Yeah."

"Whole team's there for ya, man." Nathan held a soft smile. "I got your back out there tonight. Always."

Nathan turned, and Whitey appeared wearing his signature suit on game nights. The coach gave Lucas an all knowing glance, watched as he took his own jersey into his hands, then gave him a moment alone.

On the court, Lucas placed his fingers over the _KS_ patch, looked up to the stands and saw an empty space where Keith was meant to be. In flashes, Lucas remembered the last game Keith ever witnessed, with Karen at his side. That was the way things were meant to be–and how now, they'd never be.

Just before the tip, Nathan held out his hand, a signal to pause. He looked at Lucas, and Lucas looked back at him, vulnerability leaking from his blue eyes. He bowed his head ever so slightly and backed away from the game–something that was once able to save him couldn't do so now. Lucas walked backwards to Whitey, who said nothing. "Coach. I can't play tonight." The words seemed to alleviate an invisible pressure on his whole body.

Whitey patted Lucas on the shoulder. "Dustin," he barked. "You're in."

Dustin, a fellow senior at Tree Hill High, stood up from the bench.

"Coach," Nathan said. "We're in this together. That's what you taught us, right?"

Whitey swallowed and nodded his head. He silently made his way to the referee and said, "Looks like a forfeit, ref."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Brooke made her way out of the gym and towards her car, still dressed in her uniform. The breeze blew her hair away from her shoulders, as the ache that filled her up returned. The game was a nice distraction for a little while, but that's all it was: a distraction.

"What's up?"

Brooke turned to see Rachel, also still in uniform but now wearing a purple zip up hoodie to shield her from the evening breeze. "What do you want, Rachel?" she let out in one sigh.

"Damn. You sound _so_ depressed." Brooke rolled her eyes, though tears stung at them. She didn't want Rachel of all people to see her cry. "Some forfeit, huh? Lucas totally choked."

"Can we not?" Brooke replied, walked a little faster. "I don't want to talk about Lucas. Actually, I don't want to talk at all. Especially not to you."

Rachel held out her hands in surrender. "I mean, I was just gonna offer you a pass to my dad's liquor cabinet, but hey."

Brooke turned to her just as they reached her parked car. _Yeah, that's what you're gonna do,_ the voice in Brooke's head scoffed. _Fraternize with Rachel Gatina. "_ Alcohol?"

"Oh yeah," Rachel smirked. "Lots of it. What do you say, Cheery?"

" _Don't_ call me that," Brooke warned, and she made her way to her car. Rachel was about to take that as a no, but Brooke called over her shoulder, jiggled her keys in one hand, "I'll follow you."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A soft knock on Peyton's bedroom door caused her to turn around from where she lay on her bed. Her father stood there carrying a tray of cookies and milk. "I figure you'd be on your way to forgiving me if I brought you dessert."

"I can't _believe_ you didn't let me go to at least _watch_ the game."

Larry shrugged. "They're chocolate chip?" With his daughter's silent blessing, he entered her bedroom, set the tray on the bed and took a seat. "How's your leg feeling? Are you doing your at-home exercises?"

"Yes, Dad," Peyton droned. "My leg's fine."

Larry patted his daughter's injured leg, looked at her for a second. "I love that I get to see you so happy even after what happened. I always liked Lucas."

"Dad," she said, accompanied by a chuckle. Another knock caused the both of them to turn around. Lucas himself stood in the doorway, a duffel bag slung over his good shoulder. His tie sat untied around his neck, a sign that he was stressed. "Hi...what are you doing here? What happened to the game?"

Larry looked between the two of them. He pointed at his daughter and said, "The door stays open." He grabbed a soft chocolate chip cookie. "For the road." He squeezed Lucas' arm on the way out of the room, pulling the door closed to lessen the gap, but leaving it open just a crack at the last second. After all–he did always like Lucas.

Lucas dropped his bag to the floor, took off his jacket, kicked off his shoes, and joined his girl on the bed. Right away, she began to rub his back, her touch warm and loving. "Luke, what's going on? Are you OK?"

"We forfeited the game," Lucas explained, shutting his eyes at the feel of her hand.

"Okay," she said, urging him to go on. "Because you couldn't play?"

Lucas turned to her, and she rested her chin on his shoulder, her hand still soothing him. "I couldn't. Babe, I looked up into the stands and the only person I saw was Keith. It hurts," he said, his voice breaking in half. "It hurts so bad I couldn't play...I couldn't breathe." Her grip on him tightened, her nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. Silent she stayed, though. "I feel like I can't breathe!"

His admission brought tears to her eyes. "Luke...come here," she pleaded, and he turned to her. She wrapped her arms around him and he did the same, their hug as vehement, passionate, soulful as it ever was.

"Peyton," he said, his words thick with emotion. He kissed the side of her slender neck once, twice. "I don't know what to do..."

"Shh," Peyton said, pulled apart to cup his face in her hands. "You don't have to do _anything_ right now." She placed a lingering kiss on his forehead.

"Can I lay down with you?" She nodded, wordlessly unbuttoned his shirt and threw it somewhere, and together they crawled under the covers. Worry ran all down her face as she watched him, and she was sure to paint lines down his chest–something she knew soothed him. Something told her not to speak until he did. "I didn't play tonight. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to play at all." His eyes focused on the ceiling fan above their heads, and he began to count their spins. He ran his fingers down the soft skin of Peyton's arm, reached to entwine their fingers over his fragile heart.

He had yet to tell anybody–except Haley, but including Peyton– about his HCM. He told himself it was complicated, that weakness seemed like the invisible foe. He was terrified that having HCM meant he'd have to give up the game, but maybe, if tonight was any indication, he already had.

He shut his eyes, didn't notice when Peyton's cell buzzed in a message from Nathan.

 _Hey, is Luke with you? We're worried._

Peyton typed a reply message quickly:

 _He's here._

She shoved her phone under her pillow, nestled closer to her boyfriend. She still watched him, unsure of what she had to say would even make a difference. She'd never known a Lucas who didn't play basketball. Such a vision was frightening to her, and she knew deep down it was a vision Lucas himself didn't even recognize.

In lieu of words, she kissed his cheek three times. "Do you want to sleepover?"

Lucas turned to her, shifted to lay on his hip. He brought his hand to caress her waist, and she did the same. "What about your dad?"

Peyton shrugged and replied, "We'll just have to be quiet."

For the first time that night, a smirk graced Lucas' face. "Oh yeah?" He began to tickle her, and she writhed and began laughing, music to his ears.

"Stop!" she cried. "Luke!"

Lucas muffled her laughter by kissing her, pulled the covers over their heads.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It was the first time Brooke found herself in Rachel's home. Thankfully, they were the only ones there, so Brooke wouldn't have to deal with awkward and contrived encounters with parents. According to Rachel, her parents were barely around, anyway. She sat on the expensive couch, admired the art on the wall, the expensive taste. She watched as Rachel headed towards the liquor cabinet. "What do you got?"

"Only the best, obviously," Rachel replied, pouring Brooke a shot of tequila, and one for herself. She handed Brooke the shot glass with zero introductions, took a seat on the couch. "To boyfriends who fall in love with our best friends," she announced airily, then cringed at Brooke's heavy glare. "...Sorry."

Brooke downed the shot in one go. "You think you're so fucking funny, don't you."

It was Rachel's turn to down the shot. "I _am_ funny." She smiled, but Brooke was not amused. " _Come on."_ She nudged Brooke with her elbow. "Lighten up!"

" _Lighten_ up?" Brooke scoffed. "Rachel, I was dumped in the absolute _worst_ possible way: after being cheated on, and it involved the two people I trusted and loved the most."

"Yeah...I'm not so good at this whole 'shoulder to lean on' thing. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"...You know, you really do suck."

"Well! What do you want me to say?" Rachel challenged. She softened. "Lucas made his choice. He has a right to choose, too." Brooke said nothing. "So...there's really nothing you can do now, except...deal with it, I guess."

"You're right; you're not good at this." Brooke pushed up to stand and marched towards the liquor cabinet. "I'm getting more tequila."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day, Karen stood in her robe by the window above the kitchen sink. It'd been at least three days since she'd showered or washed her hair. Dirty dishes had piled up. Last night, Lucas had texted her a simple, _at Peyton's. Love you, Ma_ , so she wouldn't worry. She didn't bother replying.

The door to the kitchen opened, and Karen didn't turn around until she heard her name. "Karen?" It was Deb. Her hair had grown longer since fleeing from Tree Hill. "...Hi," she breathed. "I'm so sorry I didn't make it back for Keith's funeral. I came as soon as I could." She looked around the absolute mess of a kitchen and asked, "How're you holding up?" Karen said nothing. Deb moved closer to her. "The important thing is to get you back on your feet. I'm just here to tell you that I came to help you in any way I can."

Karen crossed her arms over her chest. "You've done enough, Deb."

"What do you mean?"

"Keith told me that you tried to kill Dan."

Deb nodded, and her breath hitched in her throat. "It was a terrible mistake. Not a day goes by that I don't regret it, Karen."

"Yeah, well my son ran into a burning building to fix your mistake." Her words were cold and hard. "I could've lost him the way I lost Keith."

"Karen, I'm _so_ sorry," Deb replied. "I had no idea that he was there." Deb looked at her friend and said, "Thank God Lucas is OK."

"No, he's not OK, Deb!" Karen shouted. "None of us are _OK._ And as far as I'm concerned, the only difference between you and Jimmy Edwards, is that he was _successful._ " Her words broke, tears lined her eyes, and she left the room.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas and Peyton crept downstairs hand in hand the next morning. They'd showered together in Peyton's en suite bathroom, and dried their hair thoroughly so there wouldn't be any evidence of their behavior in case they got caught.

The stairs under their feet creaked as they descended. "Shh!" Peyton hissed, and the both of them started laughing. "You're being _so_ loud!"

"It's not me, it's the stairs!" Lucas said back. He wrapped an arm around her waist and swooped in to kiss her cheek. They inched down the rest of the way, trying not to laugh even harder. Peyton made it down first, checked the parlor. She waved her boyfriend over when the coast was clear. Lucas tiptoed towards her, and she wasn't sure she found it so hysterical. "What's so funny?"

"Ahem." The pair turned to see Larry, who leaned against the wall in the hallway, held a mug of coffee and a biscotti. "Good morning."

"Morning," they both echoed, waved slightly.

"You two look _so_ unbelievably guilty." Larry took a sip of his beverage. "Care to explain?"

"Um…." Peyton said, smiled sheepishly. "He fell asleep?"

"Right," Larry said. "And you just fell asleep right next to him. In your bedroom."

Peyton laughed nervously. She blushed. "...Sorry, Dad," she said, the best she could conjure up.

"Uh huh," Larry said, watched the two teens. Larry knew that Lucas was having a hard time with Keith's sudden death. He also knew that his daughter made Lucas beyond happy. Who was he to deny him that happiness? He motioned to the front door with his chin. "Get going to school; you're gonna be late."

Once the two made it outside to the front of the house, they both exhaled. "Your dad looked like he wanted to kill me," Lucas said, an arm around Peyton's shoulder.

"He wouldn't," she said. "He loves you." She got her car keys out of her jeans pocket.

"Your face got all red," Lucas said, smiled as he recounted the interaction.

"It did not!"

"That was so cute..." he said, laughed at her expression and climbed into the passenger side of the Mercury Comet. Together, they made their way to school.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

While Peyton sat in her physics class, Lucas took advantage of his free period and made his way to that crappy gym Whitey made them practice and play in. He wore athletic shorts, sneakers, and a black zip up hoodie. When he entered the space, his fellow Ravens were in a small break in the middle of their light scrimmage. Whitey saw him before most of the boys did, made his way over when Lucas took a seat on the bleachers.

"Didn't think I'd see you here," Whitey said, took a seat next to Lucas.

"Coach," he replied. "I'm not…" he paused, his chest constricted. _I'm not OK._ "I'm not sure why any of this matters." His young gaze was soulful, tortured.

Whitey exhaled, wiped his palm over his mouth. "Lucas," he said. "You want me to tell you why this game matters? I could go on and on about why this game matters. Give you some big speech. The fact is, you know it's important. You and I both know this game changed your life. You started out as some scrawny nobody at the park by the river; look at you now! All you have to do is let it heal you. Let it heal you, and come back to us, son." Whitey patted Lucas on his shoulder. "Come back to us."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Just a day or two later, Lucas and Peyton were walking hand in hand towards Karen's Cafe. For the most part, Peyton was doing superbly well without the crutches now, but still needed to stop and pause once in a while.

"Almost there, baby," Lucas said. He knew Deb was back in town and had reopened the cafe while his mother was...grieving. He thought it might be nice to check how everything was going, grab some food while he was at it. "Doing OK?"

"Lucas, stop worrying," Peyton reassured him. The awning/sign of Karen's Cafe was now in sight. "I'm fine!"

He opened the door for them both, and to his delight the cafe was buzzing with activity. Sure enough, Deb was behind the counter, looking plenty busy. "Why don't you get us a booth, babe. I'll be right there, just wanna say hi to Deb."

Peyton nodded and headed to a corner booth by the window, while Lucas headed to the main counter. "Hey, Deb..." he watched as Deb scuttled around, rushed. "You sure you can handle all this?"

"Karen's my partner. God knows she's picked up the slack for me a time or two. It's the least I can do. To be honest, though, it'll be a full blown miracle if the register balances."

"Thanks for helping my mom out. It means a lot."

Deb nodded. They talked for a few moments about Cooper staying in Tree Hill for a little while, about Dan keeping his distance. She leaned over the counter. "You know, when Nathan wrecked that car, I didn't speak to Cooper for months. I mean, I knew it wasn't _really_ his fault, but somehow I blamed him anyway. Losing your child is every mother's biggest fear; nothing even comes close. For your mom to get better, she's really gonna have to lean on you, Lucas. So whatever you do, just make sure to take care of yourself. You _have_ to. For your mother's sake."

After Deb turned away to care for a patron, Lucas swallowed and shut his eyes. He turned to see Peyton looking out the window, and she looked so gorgeous in the late afternoon light. After a moment of just staring, entranced by her, he made his way over to their booth.

"You OK?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, after a second. He sat across from her and linked their hands. "You hungry?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It'd been one week since the Ravens had forfeited the game. Days after his conversation at the cafe with Deb, Lucas' head was ringing. He knew he had to do the right thing, and for once it wasn't a selfish decision. It was for his mom.

"Coach," Lucas called in Whitey's gloomy office. He was in the middle of advising Nathan on tonight's plays. Both of them turned at the sound of Lucas' voice. "You got a minute?"

"Sure," Whitey said, took a seat behind his desk. "What's going on?"

Lucas saw that Nathan was about to leave to give them privacy, and he said, "You need to hear this too, Nate."

Nathan stopped, stood there, so innocent and blissfully unaware of the news about to leave his brother's mouth.

 _Deep breaths._

Lucas stood up tall. "I can't play tonight." He paused, looked his coach in the eye, and added, "I have a heart condition." Whitey stood up from his seat, and all the air got sucked outta the couldn't bear to meet Nathan's face. "I have HCM, and I haven't been taking my medications so that it wouldn't slow down my game. If I play, I could die." Whitey looked heartbroken. "I know how selfish I've been...I just didn't wanna leave the game behind, because the game did change my life. Just like yours...and it's gonna be hard to let it go."

After what seemed like forever, Nathan walked over and said, "The game can only change you if you have a life to change, right?"

Whitey finally spoke. "I know how hard this conversation must be for you, Lucas."

He swallowed the threat of tears down his throat. He thought of his beautiful, amazing girlfriend, who would be waiting for him after the game. "No," Lucas said, his voice cracked. "The next conversation I have is gonna be the hard one."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The drive to her house was long, lonely, quiet. The front door was unlocked as usual, and he made his way up to her bedroom–her sacred space. His heart was pounding, and he took several deep breaths. He peeked in and saw her sitting on her bed, drawing with Gavin Degraw on in the background. "Hey," he said, tried his best to make sure his tone was light, but faltered.

She turned to him, and her whole face lit up, then changed when she realized he was meant to be at the gym. "Couldn't play again?"

"Not tonight." Lucas took a seat on the bed, took off his shoes. He ran his hands up and down the soft skin of her arms, and the weight of his news made him slouch over. They looked at each other, comfortable with the silence. "I wanted to come see ya."

She placed a warm hand on his cheek, and he kissed the inside of her wrist–a gesture so intimate it made her shiver. "Luke," she said. His name sounded so sweet passing through her lips. "What's the matter?"

Lucas swallowed. He thought of his uncle Keith, and it made him brave. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her somehow, scare her. "Peyton...I need to tell you something."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	3. Chapter 3

**I know it's been a while. Sorry. Keep those awesome reviews coming, though! :)**

 _Chapter Three_

"Peyton… I have to tell you something," he said, the words leaving his mouth in pastry drips.

She blinked as she stared back at him. Her gaze was soft, unassuming, and so innocent if only for a moment. "Okay," she said. Her hand moved to curl around his left wrist, gave it a reassuring squeeze. "What's up?"

Lucas took a deep, shuddering breath. His shoulders slouched and he seemed to deflate. His lips trembled, and he felt like a kid again. "Uh..."

"Hey," she said, sitting up straight, her voice full of concern when she heard his tone and observed his body language. "What's wrong?"

He swallowed, heard it travel down his throat. "Do you...do you remember last Spring when I got tested for HCM and then moved in with Dan?"

"I remember," she answered. "You refused to take the test for a while, didn't you? And then Keith convinced you to take it." Her hands moved to caress her boyfriend's back at the mention of his beloved uncle.

"Yeah…well…I–sorry," he breathed.

"It's okay," she said, her tone so loving and gentle and understanding–and for some reason it made telling her all the more scary.

"I did take the test," he finally said. "…But I lied about the results."

He watched the fear enter into her eyes and spread. "What do you mean?"

Peyton's hands moved to caress his arms, and the bed sheets rustled underneath them as she got even closer to him when she realized he was about to burst into tears. "I told my mom I didn't have it, but I lied...I have HCM!"

She sensed it; she sensed it but it didn't become real until the words escaped his mouth. "Lucas..." She reached to wipe tears from his handsome face. She listened as he explained everything, from having to move in with Dan because he was paying for his medications, to spying on Dan and thus losing the funds for his medications, to having to shamefully steal money from the café...to playing on the Ravens with his condition.

"...I know it was selfish, Peyton, but basketball was my life–I didn't wanna give it up; I didn't know who I would be without it!"

"Shh," she said, almost desperately. He was in her arms now, clinging tightly to her frame. "Lucas, it's okay. It's okay!"

"...I didn't wanna scare you, baby..." he cried. He was crumbling in her arms, and she was letting him. "I'm _sorry_."

Peyton pulled away from their embrace only to wipe more tears from his cheeks, to have their foreheads touch, and to tell him, vehemently and passionately, "You have _nothing_ to apologize for."

"...I kept saying I wasn't afraid, but I lied about that, too. I'm _scared_..."

He curled further into her arms, and she held him there. She willed for his tears to cease, but she also knew he needed to cry. He'd been holding in this secret for a long time, he revealed, and it must have been so incredibly _lonely_ to do so. "Everything's gonna be OK, Luke," she breathed. She realized it must've sounded so naive for her to say something like that–without knowing much about HCM at all–but she made a firm decision that what he needed right now was some positivity, some light. He was coming to her for that, no matter if he didn't really know it yet. "…I love you!" It was then that _she_ shed a few tears, as the fear began to freeze her up. The thought of losing him–literally, physically losing him– was incomprehensible and unacceptable to her.

"I love you too," he said, his throat scratchy and his voice hoarse from all the crying. "I love you so much."

She wiped the last of his tears away. "You're taking...you're taking your medications and all that now, right?"

"I am," he said. "I promise. And now that my mom's gonna know, it'll be easier to get them."

"Your mom doesn't know yet?"

Lucas shook his head. "You were the second person I told, after I told Whitey and Nathan at the same time." He moved to lay down on her bed, and urged her to join him. "I have to tell my mom tonight, I just...need a few minutes."

"Alright," she said, and moved to lie against his chest. His heart beat in her ear, and she had never cherished that sound more than she did right then.

 _-x-_

 _Brooke was in her bedroom, having just showered and dressed in a fresh pair of pajamas. She in turn just finished putting on body lotion to make sure her skin was nice and soft, when there was a knock on her door. She turned and smiled. "Hey, boyfriend," she sang in that singsong voice._

 _"Hey," Lucas answered, uncharacteristically mellow and absent of the nicknames he usually used around her. He took a seat at the chair near her desk. "Brooke...can we talk?"_

 _She frowned, and felt chills shoot up her body. "What's wrong?"_

 _He swallowed and watched her for a moment, appreciated her beautiful doe brown eyes and the care she held in them. "I need to tell you something...I wasn't completely honest with you about my experience at the school shooting."_

 _Brooke noted the space he was keeping between them, and didn't like it at all. "What are you saying?"_

 _"When I found Peyton at the school library, blood was pouring out of her leg. She couldn't walk. So we hid out. She was slowly losing consciousness...and one thing led to another..." Lucas met her gaze straightaway. "She kissed me, Brooke."_

 _"…You kissed her again?" Brooke asked through clenched teeth. She went absolutely rigid. "…What else?"_

 _"She told me she loved me," Lucas revealed, watched as Brooke's jaw set in a line and those once caring brown eyes grew cold. "...I realized… I realized that I love her, too."_

 _Brooke couldn't help but let out an incredulous laugh. "Wait, wait a second." She held up her hand. "...That's it?"_

 _"Well, I–"_

 _"After months together, months of you pining for me, telling me you wanna be with me right as I'm about to leave for California, you 'realize' you're in love with **her**?" _

_"I know it must sound crazy to you–"_

 _"No," she said, her words hard and pointed. "You have **no idea** what this sounds like to me, so don't even try to guess!" She shook her head. "What is it with you two? You can't get your shit together until one of you is in a **relationship** with someone else? Seriously. I don't fucking get it. Oh! And it just so happens that that someone else was me! **Twice now.** "_

 _"...I'm sorry, Brooke."_

 _She rolled her eyes and stood up. "Whatever." She stalked to her closed bedroom door and opened it, pointed out into the hallway. "You can go now." She waited until Lucas was gone to curl up on her bed and cry._

 _-x-_

Brooke curled around on her bed and heaved a heavy sigh. She was surrounded by memories of Lucas: when they used to make out–or do more–under the sheets; when he would do homework sitting at her desk; when he came in to break up with her that night. Those glimpses were everywhere she turned, and she almost couldn't escape them. Almost. She quickly got dressed, made her way out of her bedroom and to her car, and just began to drive.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

For what seemed like the hundredth time, Haley James Scott twirled that wedding ring around her finger. It was a mellow evening in their apartment, with Nathan napping, dinner cooking on the stove, and the recollections of their weekend together at Rachel's cabin.

 _-x-_

 _"I couldn't help but notice you've had your hands in your pockets all weekend," Nathan said, as he and Haley strolled together out on the dock by the cabin. They came to a stop overlooking the lake, and the crisp air folded over them._

 _She sighed, turned to him. "I guess I can't hide it from you anymore...I lost my ring, twice, and I'm **really** sorry–"_

 _Nathan reached into the front jeans pocket. "You mean this ring?"_

 _"Yes! Where did you find that?"_

 _Nathan wore a soft smile. "I kinda stole it. Twice." He stooped down to one knee at Haley's bewildered expression._

 _"What are you doing?!"_

 _Nathan's heart began to pound in his chest. Even though they were already married, this was still nerve wracking as all hell. "Haley...over the past year, I've learned so much about life and love. And even if I could, I wouldn't take back the bad stuff that happened between us–because it brought us here." He reached up and took her hand into his, and they fit perfectly. "Marry me, Haley. Marry me again in front of all our friends and our family."_

 _Tears welled up in her eyes, and she could say nothing but nod and say, "Yes."_

 _-x-_

A knock on the door jolted Haley from her reverie. She looked through the peephole warily before pulling the door open. "Brooke?"

"Hey, Haley." Brooke stood there in a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, her hands wrung together like they were whenever she was nervous. "I'm sorry; I know it's late."

"That's OK." She waved Brooke inside with a flick of her wrist. "Come on in." Once Brooke was inside, Haley shut the door and locked it. "Is everything alright?"

"Um...I don't know."

Haley motioned to the couch, suggested Brooke follow her. "What's going on?"

With a roll of her eyes and a tilt of her head, Brooke replied, "I know I haven't been around much since Lucas and I broke up, and...I dunno, I guess I'm sorry. I kinda figured you wouldn't wanna see me."

Haley's eyebrows furrowed, her kind eyes still as kind as they'd ever been. "Why's that?"

"'Cause...you know. You're Luke's best friend and all."

"Brooke," she said. "Yeah; I'm Luke's best friend. But I like to think that _we're_ really good friends, too. I'm not going to stop hanging out with you just because of what happened. So...whatever you need, I'm here for ya."

"It's just...it can be so frustrating sometimes."

Haley moved closer to her friend, put a comforting hand on her back. "I can only imagine. Feel like talking about it?"

Brooke hesitated. "You're sure."

Haley curled her legs underneath her to get more comfortable. "Positive."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Lucas entered his home to find his mother sitting at the kitchen table in the same robe she'd been wearing for the past week, nursing a cup of chai tea that would hopefully help with her sleepless nights. The sight of her sitting there, so fragile, so broken, brought Lucas to tears before he even opened his mouth. "Mom?" He dropped his bag and it hit the floor with a slight thud. Lucas was trembling and he was sure that even in his mother's state, she would notice. "...I need to tell you something…."

Wordlessly, Karen stood up and went to her son, leaving her mug of tea untouched on the table. She looked at him with so much hurt and heartbreak in her brown eyes, that it truly pained Lucas to have to bring her such news… but he knew there was only one way to go from here, and that was forward. He swallowed so loud he heard it. "I lied to you about my heart condition," he said, his voice soft and bendable. "…I have HCM." Tears filled Karen's eyes, silently urging him to stop, but go on at the same time. "I need you," Lucas cried. "I need you now more than ever!"

They embraced in a crushing hug, a much more expressive one as of late since Karen mostly avoided her son and kept to herself, drowning in her grief. As he held her, Lucas thought only for a moment, that his mother was coming back to him.

 _-x-_

 _She walked the hallways of the high school, a place she once ruled, quite literally as queen of the cheerleaders and of Tree Hill. Now she wanted nothing more than to hide away, after at least three nights of fitful sleep. Memories kept playing and replaying themselves in her head: her and Lucas holding hands; romantic nights spent on the River Court...the small details that made him_ _ **him**_ _...his smile, his laugh, the way his eyes lit up when he was reading or talking about a book he loved._

 _Brooke always considered herself rather bubbly, social person… but nowadays she walked around uninterested in maximizing her social quota. Rather she stuck earphones in her ears, making the lonely walk across_ _the_ _quad to her next class–_ _a class she couldn't have cared less about, frankly. During her journey, she saw Haley carrying an armful of books as per usual, and Brooke turned the music up on her phone nice and loud to avoid talking to her. The last thing she needed right now was to hear some unsympathetic words from Lucas's best friend, or some corny halfhearted advice or whatever. Brooke could tell Haley was trying to say hello, and she breezed right past her without a word._

 _-x-_

"Where's your head at, girlie?" Haley asked, some minutes after she made a trip to her freezer for some cookie dough ice cream.

Brooke sighed, looked down at her hands. "Honestly? All those times I avoided you at school or blatantly ignored when you tried to say hi to me."

Haley nodded. "Hanging out with Rachel instead?"

"Yeah..." Brooke said. "It's just, Rachel carries around the perfect amount of… _bitter_ , and...dysfunction, that I needed it, I guess. You know what they say about misery loving company and all. That probably doesn't make much sense. Plus...like I said you're Luke's best friend, and I kinda figured you'd take his side."

Haley crossed her legs under her. "Well. Like _I_ said, I'm not just gonna abandon you just because things between you and Luke didn't work out...and, I can't say I wasn't somewhat surprised when I found out about him and Peyton."

" _Really!_?" Brooke gushed, before she could help herself. She instantly blushed. "That was inappropriate. Sorry."

 _-x-_

 _Just as Haley was waiting on the last of her customers for the night at Karen's Cafe, Lucas walked through the door and sat at the counter. "Hey Luke," she greeted him. "You hungry? Too bad, kitchen's closed."_

 _"Not particularly hungry, Hales. Just wanted to see ya."_

 _Haley crossed over to the other side of the counter and set down her tray. She studied her best friend for a moment of two: his poor posture, droopy lips, forlorn expression. "Oh my God. You're gonna break up with Brooke, aren't you?"_

 _"...How did you know–?"_

 _Haley waved away his bewilderment. "Oh please. We've been friends for far too long, Luke." She leaned forward on the counter so they could whisper to each other and avoid eavesdroppers. "What **happened**?"_

 _"It's kind of a long story."_

 _Haley studied him some more, her knowing gaze almost too much for the broody blonde. "I bet I can sum up that story in one word. One **name** , to be specific."_

 _Lucas rolled his eyes, and picked at the counter._

 _"Hey," Haley implored. "...What went down with you and Peyton?"_

-x-

When the wine had been drunk and the ice cream devoured, Brooke bid adieu to Haley. On the short yet gloomy walk to her car, she couldn't help but think that despite Tutor Girl's best efforts, it just wasn't the same… and at the end of the day, she was gonna stay loyal to Lucas. So what was the point, really?

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and Brooke pulled it out to see a short message from Rachel.

 _Bored. Decided to get a drink at The Blue Post and check out the guys. Join?_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

For the first time since Keith's death, Lucas spent a while talking to his mother–engaging in actual conversation instead of one word greetings and goodbyes. Karen made him tea, and they sat in the kitchen for at least an hour and a half. Admittedly, Lucas did most of the talking, but he understood his mother may've needed just a bit more time.

A knock on the door leading into the kitchen startled them both. "I'll get it," Lucas volunteered, and he got up to pull open the door, to reveal Peyton on the other side. "Hey," he said, alarmed. He'd sent her a text saying he'd told his mom, and he needed to spend some time with her for a bit. She hadn't responded. "How did you get here?! You didn't drive, did you?"

"I walked," Peyton admitted. She sent a shy wave to over Lucas's shoulder. "Hi, Karen."

"Hi Peyton," Karen greeted in return. Sensing the two needed to talk, she cleared her throat and retreated to her room. "I'll just be...reading."

Lucas ushered his girlfriend inside, shut and locked the door behind them. "I can't believe you walked all the way here. That's so far." He hurriedly pulled up a chair so she could sit, and she sank into it. "Does your leg hurt?"

"Only a little. Luke, I'm fine." Still, Lucas sat in the chair across from her and began rubbing her injured leg up and down, putting the amount of pressure she once told him she liked. "...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Well I know you wanted to spend some time with your mom, but my dad has been helicoptering and driving me freaking crazy. Plus, it didn't really sit right with me to leave you alone. I thought you could use some support."

He leaned in and pressed his lips in hers in a chaste kiss. "I'm glad you're here," he whispered to her. "Really." He brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Can I get you some tea?"

"I would love some."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Brooke found herself sitting across from Rachel at a high table in The Blue Post, nursing a cranberry and vodka. Rachel had the same. "So," she said, twirling her finger around the rim of her glass. "What's doing?"

"Just sitting here wondering why I'm out with you."

"Probably because I offered to buy you that drink you're gulping down." Rachel smirked. With a jut of her chin, she motioned to two cute guys by the bar–one brunette, one blonde. "Which one?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, and hurt constricted her chest. "Rachel...I can't."

"Because of Lucas?"

She hung her head to the side. "What do _you_ think?"

"Alright, alright." Rachel held up her hand. "I get that you feel bad, OK? And that you still love him, but did you ever consider that he doesn't even think of you when he's off _banging_ her?"

Brooke scowled."Gee, thanks."

"I'm just saying. Why bother sulking another second over this boy when he's already found his happiness? You deserve some, too."

"And you think that fucking some stranger is going to bring me happiness? It's just temporary, Rachel….and frankly, meaningless."

"It doesn't have to be," she reasoned. "Who knows, your one true love may be standing at that bar."

"Oh _please,"_ Brooke scoffed. "You don't really believe that shit, do you? I sure as hell don't."

"Wow," Rachel said, leaned back in her chair. "Here I thought I was the more cynical one."

"I just got my heart broken."

"Yep." She raised her glass to her lips and took a sip. "That'll do it."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"How do you like the magazine, Ma?"

Karen glanced up from her seat on her bed. "Oh...just sort of flipping through this. Not really reading it." She patted the space next to her, and her son sat down. "…You're going to ask me if Peyton can spend the night, aren't you?

"...Maybe."

Karen sighed, shook her head. She pointed at him. "Peyton sleeps on the couch bed. I mean it."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-

That night, Peyton awoke with a kiss to her cheek. "What're you doing?" she asked, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Getting you," Lucas replied, an amused look on his face. "Come on."

Peyton turned to see Luke's desk lamp on in his bedroom. "We could get in trouble."

"With my mom who's currently snoring? Let's go."

"Luke–"

"Babe, don't be boring. I can carry you and make this go faster, and then we won't get caught."

Peyton started laughing, quietly. "...Hurry."

Lucas picked her up ever so gently, and carried her the few feet to his bedroom, shut the door behind them.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	4. A Message From the Author

December 30, 2018

Dear readers,

We are about to enter 2019, which will mark ten years since I published my very first fan fic, "Life is Beautiful," when I was only 14 years old.

A lot has changed since then, and my life is evolving still. I've grown so much as a writer, and more importantly as a person. That being said, it is time for me to move on and depart from this site, and from writing Fan Fiction altogether. I cannot fully express all that writing for this site has taught me, and how much I've improved because of it. Fan Fiction became my escape, my refuge, and a cathartic outlet. I can't say thank you enough for all it has given me, and I can't say _thank you_ enough to all of you as readers, for your constant support, feedback, insight, and criticism. It means the world.

I realize that I will be leaving others stories, like "Invictus: The Redux" unfinished. If any of you would like to continue this story or another under your username, please send me a private message and we can work something out.

I hope this isn't a huge disappointment to all of you. Please know that if you'd like to keep in touch somehow, you can follow my blog "The Spastic Diplege: cerebral palsy in canvas shoes," whose link I will share upon request.

I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year.

All my love,

M


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